#i STILL hate how bleach did him dirty

[alcoholttm]

kon still hating the fact that he's seen as a lower life form???? yes.

[darkstrawberrytimetravel]

Why don't you just give in? Pt.2

Fem reader

Pt.1

You

He's looking skinny, or as skinny as a man who's resembled a brick shithouse for the last two decades can be, less toned I suppose more lean. I watch as he turns away, the t-shirt he's wearing allowing for more creases, bagginess. He's forgone his mask, not that he needs it. He needs a shave instead, he almost resembles his Captain with that growth. His dirty blonde hair now sun bleached in parts and his tan somewhat deeper.

You know you want to run your fingers through it, feel the short hairs against the pads of your fingers as your hand moves against the grain. The last time you did that his hands were- My thoughts are both rudely and thankfully interrupted.

“Ohhh blimey you see the lads? Who's that with the scraggly face? The tall one?” I hear Laura beside me. Instantly the table I'm seated at falls into hushed gossip, as they always do when they see the task force. The SAS lads are a common sight around here, but the more specialist unit within it still garners mystique, enthusiastic and borderline obsessive gossip whenever they grace us with their presence.

“Ghost… you really don't recognise him without that rag on his face?” I murmur as I look down and bring my mug of coffee to my lips. Ghost... I still hate that callsign. Nickname. The lore. I mean I know how fucking vicious and brutal he can be. It's not learnt or adaptive behaviour since joining the military. As usual the table descends into the usual gossip, the girls wanting to follow them to the pub they'll inevitably end up at later on. Such is the routine when they land back on home turf, especially since they've clearly been gone a while. Eat, drink, fuck, repeat.

I zone out, leaving the others to continue their usual shite when they talk about the lads. Finishing up, I stand with my tray and head to the tray return carts, Laura shouts and tells me I will be joining them tonight and that it's final. Fuckin’ a! Wherever the lads will be, so will we, the sodding groupies they are. Though it won't take much to be out the way, they're only headed to a pub. No need to dress to impress.

Walking away from my table I steel myself, walking past Riley and his lot. I resist the urge to gob in his food, as usual. I would have done it years ago, but I've risen above that version of myself. I do however afford a quick glance down and I'm met with ochre orbs, his ochre eyes. This time I yield and look away, not wanting to walk into someone with a tray full leftover dinner.

Later I find myself freshly showered, the weather keeps flip-flopping so I decide on shorts with a tank and a hoodie with my favourite trainers. It's still warm and humid enough to warrant the summer gear, but as August stretches through to September there's a chill in the air. I look at myself in the mirror, my hair tousled and low key smokey eyes. I almost feel like I should scrub the makeup off, I'm in my mid thirties, why am I dressing like I'm fifteen years younger.

We all bundle in the taxi for fifteen minutes it takes for us to get to the town centre in Hereford. I listen as the others plan and scheme where the lads are, I give the usual non committal noises they'd expect but eventually I put my proverbial foot down. “Look, I don't want to spend all night with you lot drooling over them. We'll get pre-drinks at The Queen's Arms, some of you will get a quickie I'm sure, and then we should go somewhere better to spend our time.”

I'm met with eye rolls and smirks, it's no secret I'm not enthralled by the lads on the task force, and even under duress when plied with copious drinks I've still not spilt the beans. Finally the taxi pulls over and we hop out, the fare being prepaid since it was a group booking. I stay behind to organise a return journey later before following the girls into the pub. We're met with a wall of sound, almost raucous, as we filter in and find a table. I see Riley actually enjoying himself around the pool table for once.

Pt.3

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere (Physically Aged Up) Toshiro Hitsugaya: Short, Stubborn Yandere (Bleach)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with a new chapter! This one is going to be the base headcanons with Toshiro Histugaya. With him Aged up a bit physically. He is still a short king! So please enjoy this chapter here, my sexy muffins!] 

(Disclaimer: Toshiro Hitsugaya Is Not Yandere In Canon! This is Just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You Know Who You Are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!  Disclaimer 2: Toshiro is OVER 100 years old, he is AN Adult he is just short, and for that people think he is younger than he is. They even make this a gag in the show. He is an adult in canon! Though he will be aged up a bit physically to make sure that no one gets it twisted!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Toshiro Hitsugaya From Bleach- 

.Toshiro is a very serious and mature man. 

.He takes things very seriously and most of the time does not like people acting out, goofing around, or drawing needless attention to themselves. 

.He met you and fell for you right away. Rangekiu teases him about his crush on you and says it is cute. 

.He can sometimes be a bit of tsundere as well as a yandere when it comes to you. 

.As he would not admit he has feelings for you and that he does not like you. 

.Although he still watches over and does what he can to protect you. 

.Sometimes being that of a mother hen with how he hovers around you to make sure that you are safe and sound.  .He is also a very easily jealous yandere in which he does not like you spending time with others. 

.It makes him annoyed when other people show their affection to you. 

.He for sure uses his rank to keep them from you. 

.He would have you in his squad of course and make sure you spend most of all your days with him. 

.He would walk you home, saying he did not want his assistant to get hurt. 

.He does not show love for you easily and will tell you sometimes you are being dumb. 

.He does show he cares by having regular lunches with you and making your lunch. He always packs extra watermelon for you. 

.If you say it shows he cares he just says shut up and eat it. Though he is glad he knows that you know it is a way of him showing his love for you.  .He is most likely shorter than you and hates that, as he has to pull you down to his height a lot. (if you are shorter than him he is happy about that)  .He wants to grow big so he tries and gets his work done fast so he can take a nap, as he knows sleep is good for growing. But alas he stays a short king. 

.He hates the heat and summer a lot but loves it only because you wear the summer uniform which shows off more of your body.  .He is the type of yandere that is a protective yandere as well. 

.If Anyone were to harm you he would be beyond pissed off and put them in their place. He then will mend your wounds while scolding you for being reckless. 

.He hates when you put yourself in danger and how you come to be at risk of harm. He rather you be safe and sound by his side. 

.He does lash out at you if you were to do something dangerous and tells you, that your life means more to him than anything or anyone else. 

.He may be the hard-on-you type of yandere but he will do his best to show that he cares. 

.He wishes he did not have to be so firm with you, that you would just listen and stay by his side. 

.He deals with rivals mainly by scaring them away, do not get it twisted he can be a very scary yandere when it comes to rivals. 

.Sending such murderous intent that rivals go running. 

.You of course are kept in the dark of this, he does not need you to know. 

.What you do not know will not kill you. 

.He would confess his love one day by just pulling you into a kiss and saying that you were now his. 

.If you accept his love, that is good and you will be moving in with him. 

.He would love to nap with you and to hold you close as his sweet little darling.  .Just having you by his side puts him at ease. 

.If you say no, he will say it does not matter if you say no, you are his and you do not get a say in the matter. 

.From that moment on everyone knew you were his and no one accepted you saying you weren't. 

.He is a stubborn yandere and he will not stop seeing you as his partner. You are his and it did not matter how much you tried to deny him. 

.He would break you down and make you love him, he is stubborn enough that he will not falter. 

.He will also one day be his spouse, as such you will be forced to move in with him. 

.With him as your captain you cannot do anything to stop him.  .Also good luck on trying to get transferred to a different squad, like most yandere captains he is going to stonewall that from happening. 

.No way is the love of his life going to be allowed to leave him for another squad. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins! 

[schmooplesboop]

Drops of Ice-Cream

Pairing: Alex X Male Farmer/Player

Rating: Teen, bc Alex's brain goes dirty for half a second

He was coming. Haley was chattering on about a bunch of new, cute clothes she’d ordered online, but her voice had retreated to the far reaches of Alex’s mind, because he was walking over. The farmer who’d inherited old man Sawyer’s farm at the start of the spring. Colton.

Alex adjusted his cap, hating that they made him wear it. It was so dumb. Why did he need to advertise the ice-cream stand while he was literally working at it? Who would even see it outside Pelican Town? Lame.

His hands were sweating. He picked up the ice-cream scoop just to have something to occupy himself. Vaguely he was aware that Haley had stopped talking. She’d spotted Colton too.

“God, he’s so hot…” She leaned close to Alex, keeping her voice low so the approaching man wouldn’t hear her.

Alex had thought about dudes that way before, but definitely not as much as he thought about women. But… yeah, Colton was different. Taller than Alex by an inch or two, muscular, but not as broad as him. When he wasn’t farming, he was surfing so Colton’s skin was a golden tan and his short, wavy sandy blonde hair was slowly being bleached by the sun’s rays. His eyes were a deep, warm brown that never failed to make Alex feel tingly all over when they fell upon him. So. Yeah. Colton was hot.

Aloud, Alex grunted noncommittally to Haley and she rolled her eyes.

“Hiiiiiii, Colton!” She waved enthusiastically, sounding somewhat breathless.

Haley had an instant crush on the farmer the second he moved onto Gullwing Farm. The jealousy had been confusing at first, Alex unable to decide if he was jealous of Haley liking Colton because he liked Haley too… or because he liked Colton. Turned out, it was the latter. Colton was friendly from the start despite Alex’s chilly, jealousy-fuelled reception. And as the spring went on Alex found out that they had a lot in common. They were both absolute sports nuts and loved the outdoors as much as they loved their dogs. Since summer had begun Alex had gone for a beach run with Colton and his dog Finn (Alex’s own dog was too old to join them, but Dusty still got plenty of pets from both him and the farmer) almost every morning. It was something that Alex was starting to look forward to.

“Hello, Haley!” Colton called out in his deep, friendly voice, stepping up to the little ice-cream cart. “S’up, Alex?”

“…Hi.” Alex replied quietly. Today Colton wore board shorts patterned with palm leaves and a loose orange tank top that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Alex could feel his face heating up. He didn’t know where to look. He felt Haley’s shrewd gaze on the back of his head. “What can I get for you?”

“It’s cheat day, so an extra-large waffle cone with vanilla ice-cream, caramel drizzle, and a pinch of sea salt please!”

Colton grinned. Alex couldn’t decide if that was for him or his cheat day treat so he ducked his head, cheeks burning, and scooped ice-cream into a cone. Out the corner of his eye he could see that Haley had stepped up beside the stand with a funny little smile on her lips. Please, don’t let her blurt out something embarrassing.

She didn’t. “How are things on the farm, Colton?”

“Melons are really finicky, I’m learning.” Colton replied as Alex squeezed caramel onto the ice-cream and sprinkled sea salt on the top. “Had half a batch die on me. Not giving up, though.”

“That’ll be $3.50,” Alex mumbled, holding the ice-cream out, trying not to blush even more than he already was as Colton’s fingers brushed against his as he took the cone from him.

“Keep the change,” Colton said cheerily, handing over enough cash for nearly three ice-creams.

So much for not blushing even more. Alex’s face felt like it was on fire. “Oh, no. I couldn’t—” He stammered. Haley was definitely smirking at him.

“Farming has taught me that standing in the hot sun all day sucks. Keep the change, Alex. Maybe buy yourself your own cheat day treat.”

Those warm brown eyes were on him, making Alex’s knees feel like water and his belly like a knot of hot chilis. “…Thanks.”

Okay. Colton had his ice-cream; Alex had his cash. He could leave now, and Alex could calm down before his face erupted like a volcano. Right?

Colton did not leave. Instead taking a long, languid lick of his ice-cream that had both Alex and Haley staring. “So, how’s the rest of your summer look, Alex. Any plans?”

Alex’s brain was short circuiting, eyes riveted to the drops of ice-cream, starkly white against Colton’s tan skin, that rolled down the man’s wrist before he licked them off.

Thankfully, Haley decided to take pity on him, “He’s going to one of those sportsball training things in a few weeks.”

“Gridball training camp? Really? That’s amazing, dude!” Colton exclaimed.

Yeah. One he had to pay for, not one he’d earned a spot in. Haley didn’t know that, of course. No one did. He didn’t have the guts to tell them. Alex inwardly squirmed in embarrassment and outwardly put on his cocky façade.

“Yup. Gonna be the best gridball player around. Gonna go pro some day!” God, he hated the way he sounded. Like very douche that had shoved Sebastian into the lockers in high school.

The farmer was looking at him like he’d invented fire. It made Alex feel both guilty and pleased.

“Remember me when you’re famous, hey?” Colton chuckled, licking more errant drops of ice-cream off his wrist before slurping up half the cone in one go. Yoba, trying to keep thoughts of Colton sucking on other things like that out of his mind was an ordeal.

“You can be my number one fan.” Alex said with instant regret. Ugh. Why’d he have to say that? So fucking lame.

“Already am, dude.”

Alex blinked. He couldn’t tell if Colton was being serious or not. Haley’s gaze was bouncing between them like she was watching a particularly interesting match of tennis, hands clasped in glee.

Alex was saved from answering when the farmer’s watch began to beep. “Ah, shit! I gotta water my crops!” He jogged off, splattering ice-cream everywhere and raising his free hand in a wave. “Bye, Haley! See you for tomorrow’s run, Alex!”

“Byeeeee, Colton!” Haley called, waving.

“Bye.” Alex wanted to drop dead on the spot.

Haley turned to him, a truly wicked smirk on her face. “Oh, you two have it so bad for each other.”

Apparently, she wasn’t the jealous type.

[gungoo4lifer]

｡⁠:ﾟGungoo headcanons ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

• gun's hands are always cold while goo's are always warm, so whenever they hold hands while walking etc, goo always grumbles about his cold hands but still keeps on holding anyway

• goo forces gun to switch from cigarettes to vapes because it definitely smells better than cigarettes, yet gun utterly hates vapes and people who use them because he thinks that it's childish and idiotic

• Goo can't talk properly whenever he just wakes up, and gun always somehow manages to understand the bullshit he's mumbling about

• They gossip. A lot. (It's even canon cuz they gossip about the fighters a lot lmfao)

• They share a wardrobe.. or goo steals gun's clothes very often because "it suits him more"

• Despite being rich as fuck, they live together in an old, not very 'fashion looking' house to not catch in people's eye a lot

• Goo asks gun to speak Japanese sometimes since he loves watching animes and most likely is a weeb, he thinks thats so fucking cool but he's too busy and lazy to learn Japanese plus he begged to Gun numerous times for him to teach him japanese but all he got in reply was a punch on his face.

• Speaking of japanese, sometimes he says "talk dirty to me in japanese." As a joke, and Gun goes along with it and says a few curse words at him and Goo giggles while blushing and Gun just rolls his eyes, knowing that he couldn't understand shit.

• Gun loves getting massages from Goo because it reduces the soreness of his body along with his exhaustion

• Whenever they have nothing to do, Gun talks about his Yakuza past to Goo since he asks about it a lot, also Goo really likes listening to Gun's stories about the scars on his body

• Gun adores Goo's soft hair

• The 30 minutes rule.. do I even have to explain this at this point haha

• Whenever they are traveling around the provinces, (goo referred to gun while saying that he traveled around the provinces with the 'white ghost' in chapter 407 where he played golf with unknown someone so it's half canon) goo talks a lot during the plane ride or more like grumbles a lot about how the ride was all boring

• They have lots of board games in their house (again, this is also half canon because they really fucking have LOTS OF board games for just two people, which was shown in chapter 316 while they were playing cards and betting over the four crew members about who would win in a fight) so in their break times etc they spend their time playing board games with each other and goo somehow always loses for an unknown odd reason.

• Gun loves cuddling with Goo to sleep

• Gun thinks that Goo isn't handsome, but more like pretty. Sure he's a good looking guy, he really is so fucking attractive but in a pretty way, not in a handsome way. For some people it doesn't even matter but for Gun, it does.

• Goo has a whole ass skincare along with a haircare routine so he'd look as perfect as usual, gun doesn't really have a proper routine but sometimes he lets goo take care of his skin etc

• Goo never goes to the hairdresser salon to bleach his hair. Why would he bother exhausting himself with going all the way there when he has gun with him?

• It became a habit for Gun to wrap his arms around Goo's waist from the back and drop his head on his shoulder whenever Goo was cooking food for them with his iconic light pink apron as Gun nibbled on his neck

•Gun can't cook. Not in the slightest. He fucking sucks at it.

• They gossip about the chairman and grumble about how fucking annoying he is

• Goo likes tracing his fingers along gun's scars and ask if they hurt and they never did, not in the slightest. And if it did gun couldn't even feel it anyway.

• Goo likes kissing the scar between Gun's eyes, which he created with his own hands 🫶

• Goo mocks him A LOT about his will to find the great successor which always ended up with utter failure.. *whispers* samuel, eli, olly, johan and jake

• Goo thinks that Gun's hairstyle was ugly as fuck (because it is.) And thinks that he looks a lot better with his hair slightly messy or down but gun doesn't really likes his hair like that, or at least in fights cuz he can't see shit properly like that

• Gun's hands are just a little, slightly bigger and a lot veinier than Goo's hand, on the other hand, Goo's hand is more silky and soft (how the fuck aren't their hands bruised or damaged in the slightest after all that fights and punches bro)

• Gun isn't really great with technology and goo always helps him with it

• Goo sometimes mocks Gun about acting way old for his age, especially with kids. He may not be the best with kids for sure but he is obviously ten times better than Gun, he always laughs his ass off whenever gun refers to kids as "little fella, thing" or it.

• Goo always uses lines from movies (again.. a half canon thing, yes goo refers to movies in the webtoon a lot) as a reference and Gun always gets them because goo forces him to watch kdramas with him o7

• Goo uses kaomojis A LOT, even more while texting with gun and at first gun finds it ridiculously cute and then sometimes, just sometimes he caughts himself using them.

• Goo often cosplays anime, manga, manhwa or webtoon characters and one day he decides to cosplay fucking park jonggun and the look of surprise he witnessed on Gun's face was the funniest shit he ever saw in his life

• They go to DG's concerts sometimes (they end up getting bored of the concert and start making out in a random space)

• Goo has lots of anime merchs from his favorite animes like figures, keychains, phone cases, shirts(gun makes fun of those shirts but goo never wears it anyway, just for the sake of his favorite character because he also agreed on how ugly some of them managed to look) plushies, nendoroids etc AND he also has a huge ass body pillow of gun which makes gun mad because why hug a body pillow when HE is there??

• They have a matching pfp on their icons in every single social media platform

• Oh talking about social media, they don't really use them though because of their job, but goo still uses it without his information for anime stuff etc.

• Goo likes hanging out with yenna and yenna likes uncle goo too but not gun, her little brain remembers how he caused his papa to get angry for some reason that she didn't know but it's alright because her papa said that it was no big deal

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug on 'The Solitary Clone'

Oh boy, a Daddy Warcrimes episode, happy happy joy joy!

Here it is, Doug's review of 'The Solitary Clone' or, as he calls it, 'Daddy Warcrimes Goes To Texas'.

Nothing much to say...enjoy, you lot. Doug liked this episode, but he likes Daddy Warcrimes the same reason I enjoy characters like the Joker and Daemon Targaryen: I AM NEVER BORED.

CW: Daddy Warcrimes do what he do and Doug narrates it. Need I say more? Oh and if you're from Texas, I apologize ahead of time. Doug shreds the Lone Star State something bad in here.

----------------------------------------------------

Oh boy, we arrive at some dry-ass dump. It’s gross and there’s corn and everyone seems a little off. Must be Oklahoma.

Wait, there’s peaky mountains, must be Texas. Didn’t know Texas was in Star Wars but whatever. 

Well, here’s the Empire, but wait! This dump is run by an angry lady with a bucket on her head dressed like a hippie beekeeper. I’ll call her Beekeeper Bitch.

Anywho, looks like Beekeeper Bitch is holding the government officials hostage today, which is what they do for fun in Texas I guess, besides make barbeques and do weird shit at football games. I hate A&M so much. 

Now, here’s Daddy Warcrimes, having a nice nap in what looks to be the broom closet at my job where the junior engineers always end up banging each other at least once a week. I’m surprised there’s no bleach in there. Jeez, Daddy Warcrimes, no blanket?

Poor Daddy Warcrimes, trying to make friends with the other dudes at lunch and no one wants to go near him because he was forced to sleep in the Dirty Shag Closet. At least the clone cafeteria has turkey legs like Ren Faire. I wonder if it’s because Daddy Warcrimes crashes where the younger employees screw each other all day and there’s stains on the walls no one wants to talk about. Oh well. 

Oh, now we gotta see MBA-Rob. No turkey legs for Daddy Warcrimes today. I hate this little asshole, of course he’s dicking around on his stupid assed phone while Daddy Warcrimes waits and fantasizes about killing and smoked meats.

No one will swipe right on you, Rob, you’re unemployed and gave your last girlfriend an itchy crotch. Or is it left? Up and down? How does that thing where you meet ladies work? 

32 rotations…wtf is this Waterworld shit? How come Daddy Warcrimes isn’t burned to a crisp? How did he survive on that dump? Damn, the man must be part roach, I guess, wow. 

Now he’s got his sweet Johnny Cash armor back on, just looking at him makes me wanna watch that western robot show with Ed Harris again. He’s hanging out in front of that script that possessed Linda Blair back in the day. Does Pazuzu exist in this universe?

Oh, shit, it’s Obi-Wan’s Boyfriend! What in the what what. Glad to see he’s still around! Where’s his gold armor? Did he get it after Obi-Wan…you know, that makes me too sad to think about. I’m sorry, Obi-Wan’s Boyfriend, that must have been rough on you. 

Well, looks like he and Daddy Warcrimes are off!  Where? They’re off on a charming romp to squash some rebellion!...wait, is this a good thing or a bad thing? Who are we rooting for? I’m confused. When did Star Wars get confusing? Am I old now?

Ya know who's not confused? Daddy Warcrimes! His job is pointing, shooting, killing. Which, I get, man. I worked in the oil industry. Speaking of which, they’re back in Texas, but where? Are they in Marfa? This looks like one of the shittier towns in West Texas, outside of El Paso. Are they making meth? Is the Empire the DEA? 

You know, this place is quite nice for someone like Daddy Warcrimes. Second amendment respected, the locals spoke in grunt, and smoked meats for everyone! Speaking of Texas, I wonder if there’s a Buc-ee’s inside, and the Empire wants to take over their jerky emporium, and that’s where this mess came from.

I miss Buc-ees, I could go with a hot brisket sandwich and some Beaver nuggets, get some red velvet fudge for later. 

No wonder Daddy Warcrimes is shooting everyone, the man is hungry! 

God, DAMN, Daddy Warcrimes waiting and staying perfectly still while he’s getting shot at and the TANK holy SHIT he is a BAD ASS but a BAD PERSON and I am CONFUSED BUT I LIKE IT? 

("Meat Muffin, you got a doctorate, diagnose me, what is this feeling where I’m confused but happy?"

"It’s just being happy, Doug, and my doctorate is not in psychology.")

And those crap robots are shooting at them again, but are these good guy robots? Didn’t we spend the last few years hating on them? Oh wait, they’re reprogrammed for defense…oh.

Have I ever told you how much I hate those damn things? They look like vacuum cleaners, if someone made art of a vacuum cleaner that they wanted to be human. Non sexy vacuum cleaners.

("Doug, when did you ever think vacuum cleaners were sexy?"

"Never, don’t know what you’re talking about.") 

Why does this feel like an FBI siege? Is this based on Waco? Shit man, I was in the navy when that happened. This ain’t good. This really is Daddy Wacrimes's Texan adventure, isn't it?

But what is good is Daddy Warcrimes and his GUN. Look at those trick shots like the man is yelling ‘SKEET’ and ‘PULL’ like you wouldn’t believe. I bet he’s the type of person who throws a tantrum at the ice cream store because his favorite flavor is ‘bullets’ and it ain’t on the menu.

Look at him and Obi-Wan’s boyfriend just going up and killing robots left and right. He ain’t good, but that ain’t bad. Which is…good or bad? Ah, whatever, I like this damn show. 

And there’s Beekeeper Bitch bitching at the Empire’s Bitch. Those couches look comfy. 

Daddy Warcrimes is coming your way! When she’s not wearing her helmet, Beekeeper Bitch looks just like my niece! Wow! Oh, now I don’t know, is she bad? Good? She wants independence for her people, maybe Obi-Wan’s Boyfriend and Daddy Warcrimes can listen to her? 

Oh, shut up, Empire Bitch, no one cares. ‘Execute her’ uh shut up, your hat sucks and don’t you know that Obi-Wan’s Boyfriend is a free-thinking MAN who might just up and take a DUMP on your LAWN. 

Well, no. Damn, Daddy Warcrimes, you cold-assed sonofabitch. 

‘Hang her body in the square’, what in the hell, this is dark, Dr Meat Muffin, are you letting your sweet girls watch this show? One of them’s a baby, I hope not. 

(I was 100% watching this with my 2 year old, it was on Disney, what do you expect- Dr. MM)

Welp, Daddy Warcrimes is back where he started, chilling in the cafeteria and his new best friend is his helmet. Wonderful. The helmet will at least make eye contact with him. 

Back to MBA-Rob being a dick to everyone and now Obi-Wan’s Boyfriend has run off. Probably to drink himself into a stupor and cry in a shower somewhere. I know I would, too.  

We really didn’t learn anything in this episode, did we? Well, I learned that Daddy Warcrimes is living a confusing life, never gets to eat and has to sleep in the Dirty Shag Closet. But at least he's got his helmet and his gun and MBA-Rob.

I know he’s bad, but he’s good at that, which is bad…but for me, it’s good?

[nfcv-saltmine]

How'd they turn this sexy Bishōnen man

Into this fucker

His breasts are bigger than mine (mind you I'm small chested but wanted a moobs joke) and he's a horse faced whore.

I would give my soul to actual Alucard. I would rip the succubus in half for what she did to him.

Netflix Vania fan service man just let two mostly strangers into his bed, he should have been taken out by natural selection

I personnally would say he's pretty or beautiful more than sexy lol, but yeah. I really don't see the appeal. Even though he has some good shots, not only does he look prettier than usual because of lighting, staging and scenery, but he still has this horse face lmao.

Look at him:

He's okay (when you don't compare him to the og). He's not that good but he's not awful to look at. But... his face looks so weird to me, partially because I don't find NFCV's artstyle to be that great. Ofc it's subjective, and probably easier to like when you don't know or don't care about the games... but I do. And I find him ugly and cheap (i wonder if he would have as much passionnate fans as he does now if he wasn't going tiddies out all of the time)

He looks fine here, might be one of his best shots:

But then...

Ok it might be a little low lmao, since he is supposed to look bad in this context.... or is he? Sure he looks dirty. But he is more tiddies out than ever before and give this "hot mess" vibe to me (like N!Trevor :)). Not only that, but lmao, he is supposed to be neglecting himself.... yet he is more muscular than ever?? What sorcery is this??

That's how he looked in s1. And that's how he looked in s3:

It doesn't make any sense. N!Alucard fans complain that Nocturne got rid of their blorbo's tiddies...

But my guys. S4 gave him a body he didn't even deserve lol. If you don't like this Alucard, how could you like season 1 to 3 Alucard ??

I find it very shallow to praise the s4 tiddies and hate on the twink because it shows you don't care about the character, you just want a fictional man to fuck (good for you but don't pretend it's a show problem lmao). Not to mention... Nocturne!Alucard actually wears clothes. That's why you feel like he has less tiddies. They're hidden under the rich boy clothes he was always meant to have.

I also see comments about how Nocturne "bleached" Alucard when this is literally the effect of the moonlight. This is an artistic choice to match with the scenery. Pretty sure he wouldn't look like this under sunlight lmao.

But the worst part to me isn't how N!Alucard looks, or even how the fans are, imo, overthirsting for him. The worst part is how they took the noble, respectful, graceful Alucard... And turned him into an absolute cunt who is designed to be slutty just to be easier to animate and get fans to thirst for his body and who literally steals the show. ❤️ HE is the one to kill Dracula. HE is the one who gets to be hot and sexy and pretty for the fans. And HE is the one said fans watched Nocturne for. ❤️ Whenever Trevor, Sypha and Alucard stand next to each other in an important moment (when they attack the castle, when they face Dracula, when Trevor and Sypha join Alucard in s4...), Alucard always is in the center. Giving him more important than the rest of the trio. It's a conscious choice made to make you think "ah, yes, this is the main character". I wish I could put more images but Tumblr won't allow me lol.

[sniigura-archive]

come see inside my heart (1)

spencer reid x fem! reader

Summary: You’re rehabilitated! You swear on it! So, when a serial killer turns up, with the same killing method as you, it threatens everything you have worked not-so hard for.

tw/cw: CANON TYPICAL VOILENCE AND THEMES! This chapter is mild but! Further chapters will deal with mature topics, read at your own risk! I am not responsible for you guys. I take no critism btw

Read on AO3 for better formatting + tagging. Enjoy.

This isn’t Spencer´s scene. He knew it, his team knew it, and so did the woman and men who approached him. A successful caught criminal means a night out at a bar, or club in this scenario. Usually he could handle it, the people, the sounds, the overstimulation of his senses.

Sadly, today was a bad day, where everything was just a bit too much. So he excused himself to the restrooms, but he just ended up going through the back door, into an alley. It was dirty, with trash everywhere, but it was better then being inside right now. Spencer planned to be alone, for like 10 minutes to recharge and try again.

But, well, he wasn’t alone. A girl was crouching on the floor. Her arms over her knees, hiding away her face.

“I’m sorry… are you in need of assistance? Are you hurt?” Spencer carefully asked.

The girl lifted her head up, looking right at him with cold eyes. He wishes she was just looking at him, it felt like he was being looked right into. She was unraveling him, simply with her eyes. His soul was laid bare before her.

“…No, sorry if I scared you. I’m just trying to recharge my social battery.” Her hands rubbed over her forehead. She still made no move to get up.

Spencer carefully nodded, a small voice told him if he said the wrong thing, or made the wrong move that she would leave. He doesn’t want her to leave.

“I can relate to that, that’s why I also came out here.” Spencer said, he then tried to casually lean against the wall behind him. Once he came in contact with the wall, he felt it crumble under him. He quickly pulled away and wiped away the dirt from his cardigan.

And even though Spencer hates dirt, and he knows he will have to bleach his clothes and himself once he get’s home, he thinks it’s worth it. Simply because you giggled at him. He looked at you, still on the ground, but your lips were pulled into a grin. He couldn’t help but smile at you back.

“I thought you looked like a smart guy, guess I was wrong.” Your tone was teasing, and the playful insult causes him to blush in embarrassment.

“Yeah, well…Uhmm…Yeah..” And usually Spencer was quick with his words, his brain constantly on overdrive. And he could easily come up with some witty respond. His problem right now? The intense eye contact you guys held. Spencers only salvation was looking away. He took a deep breath and finally spoke,

“Well, actually I have three Phds and an IQ of 187. You tell me if that makes me an smart guy.”

“Three? Dude, how old are you?” You looked at him with big eyes.

“24.” At his answer you looked even more shocked, “Do I look that old?” He tried to tease you.

“No! No, its just I am 26 and I am not even close to three Phds, or an IQ of 187. I’m kind of envying you right now.” You slowly stood up, shaking out your legs.

“I also have eidetic memory.” You looked at him with confusion, “It’s, uh, commonly known as an photographic memory.”

“Now you’re just bragging. But being able to remember everything? That’s something I don’t envy. I love my mind for being able to repress things.”

“It’s true, it’s not always…easy. It’s very practical though in my line of work.” Spencer shifted from one leg to the other. Speaking to people wasn’t his forte, especially ones in his age rage who he was attracted to.

“Oh? What’s your occupation?” You tilted your head slightly to the side, looking him up and down.

“I work for the FBI, in the, uh, Behavioural Analysis Unit.” Spencer cleared his throat, trying to shake off his nervousness. He can talk to serial killers, but one pretty girl leaves him speechless.

“Wow! A doctor and agent? You are really an high achiever.” Spencer laughed slightly at your words, “Yeah, my name is Spencer Reid, by the way.”

You told him your name and stretched out your hands towards him. “Uhm, actually, did you know its safer to kiss then to shake hands? Yeah! It’s because of the-“

“Well, let’s kiss then.” You giggled at his stuttering, and the blush coating his cheeks and ears, “I’m just kidding! Unless..” Tip toeing towards him, you leaned your shoulder against the wall, looking right at Spencers side profile. He turned his head towards you, not wanting to miss a secound of looking at you.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his hands were starting to sweat.

“Can I have your number?” Spencer helplessly blurred out. Hopefully you were as interested in him as he was in you.

“Ah, I don’t think you will actually like me..” You trailed off, but still smiled at him.

“Why? You can’t know that.”

“Hmm, I do know, sadly. I’m not really…a good person, you know? I’m probably on some kind of watchlist.” You looked away from him, your finger was playing around with your lips.

“No way! I don’t believe you.” Spencer tried to convince you otherwise. In his head, he knew that this was a warn sign from you. Either you suffered from low self esteem, were not interested in him and tried to shake him off, or you were telling the truth. Please, be a liar. “What terrible thing did you commit?”

You hummed, your face losing its smile and you spoke in a whisper, “I’m a serial killer.”

Spencer’s blood ran cold at your words, he couldn’t tell if you were joking or not. But his question was quickly answered, because you started laughing, “You should have seen your face! For legal reasons I was joking, obviously.” You bumped your shoulder against his and made your way back to the door. “Bye bye, doctor Reid, you might get my number the next time we meet.” And with that you disappeared inside.

His saving grace was Morgan calling him, asking if he fell down the toilet or something. Spencer hurried back inside, the whole night he didn’t see your face again.

___

You always meet someone twice. Spencer could curse whoever came up with that phrase, but well. He also cursed himself. Wishing to meet the pretty stranger from last week shouldn’t be too much to ask for. But, with his bad luck, it is apparently.

Spencer got what he asked for, he met you again. Sadly, under bad circumstances. While he daydreamed about sitting across from you at a dinner, he didn’t really expect to see you sitting in the interrogation room at the DC police station. While he could see you through the glass, you weren’t able to see him.

Hotch and Gideon stood beside Spencer, looking into the room, studying you, “She won’t crack, she didn’t when she was 16 and she sure won’t now at 26.” Gideon said into the silent room, Hotch nodded his head.

“We still have to try, we have no other choice.” Hotch replied in his usual even tone.

Gideon looked at the file in his hand, he then made his way inside to you. He sat himself across from you and sighed, “Weren’t you supposed to keep out of trouble?”

“…I do.” Your voice was stable, your hand was playing around with your handcuff.

“Yeah? Well, it doesn’t look like that to me.” With that Gideon opened the file and put the pictures of the crime scenes on the table. Only catching a glimpse of the content of the pictures, you turn your head away to the wall. Spencer was able to catch you grimacing.

“Yikes, want me to pass out?”

“There is no blood in those pictures. Take a look at them.”

Slowly, you turned your head back towards Gideon, avoiding looking at the table. With a deep sigh you looked at the pictures, Your brows were furrowed, studying the pictures, or more like trying to, because after a few seconds you started gagging and quickly turned them around, so you didn’t have to see them again.

“What the hell does this have to do with me?”

The pictures weren’t even gruesome, for the standard of the FBI. It were simple corpses, no guts, blood, or even visible bruises.

“Where were you last Tuesday, from 8PM to 11PM?”

“…I was at home?”

“You have any witnesses?”

“Yeah, actually. We have cameras all around and inside the house. My car and phone are also both being constantly tracked. Don’t worry, Jason, I can’t make a step without everyone knowing.” And with that you leaned against your chair, your arms crossed across your chest. You were shutting down.

Gideon noticed this and got up, knowing this was as much as he could get. He joined the other men on the other side of the glass.

The team was depriving with the police department, on what next steps they should take.

“The Heart, known for his obsession with blood. It is actually an unsolved case in the FBI, the Heart was active from 2010 to 2013 and seemingly stopped his killing abruptly. The profile which was established back then was of a white male, in his 20’s to early 30’s, someone who was charismatic and worked in the medical field. What’s really interesting about this case is the time frame, or more like the time in which the kills committed. Usually, serial killers evolve, the time between kills becomes less and less, the need for a high rising. With this one here, the time frame between the kills becomes more, as if the killer is seemingly lost interest.” Spencer rambled on.

“That’s great and all, but what does this have to do with the girl we took into custody? I know her Daddy, and I’m afraid he will come in here raise Hell soon. Do we even have any evidence.” A random police officer called into the room.

“We are aware that our current custodee seems innocent, but we have reasons to believe that she is in fact the Heart killer. We just…weren’t able to prosecute her. This may change now. We can hold someone in custody without evidence for 48 hours, I advise that was use the time wisely.” Aaron said, establishing dominance. The team was aware that the police officers were antsy, convincing them to take you into custody was hard enough.

Their job was just about to become harder, because two men entered the police department.

“Tell me a good reason on why I shouldn’t sue you and your whole bloodline.” One of the men spoke angrily.

“Sir, do you know where your daughter was last Tuesday from 8PM to 11PM?” Gideon calmly asked the upset father, “She claims to have been at home. Can you support that statement?”

“I don’t have to, we have cameras at our hose. We can check right now, if you want to. The video files are uploaded to our cloud.” The father carefully phrased, not wanting to incriminate his daughter any further. He made eye contact with the other man, a lawyer, who nodded his head.

This was a quick process, the video files were send to Garcia and she checked for any kind of manipulation.

“Well, depending on who hears this, it’s either good or bad news. The alibi is waterproof, no! It’s bulletproof. Not even for last Tuesday, but for all the murder times. On the day she wasn’t home, you can easily track her to the campus library, where they have video surveillance. So, yeah, not our guy…gal.”

“Thanks, Garcia.” With that Hotch ended the phone call. He looked at the projection of you in your home in one video, in the next it’s set in the library. He really hoped this would be an easy wrap up.

“What if she has a partner?” Morgan threw into the room, wanting to nothing more then to send you away for life.

“No. She keeps to herself and seems to be introverted.” Hotch answered. “We have no other choice but to let her go. Reid, release her. This doesn’t mean we won’t keep an eye on her, of course.” With these words Hotch left the room, probably sharing the news with the other law enforcement members.

Spencer made his way to you, keys in his hand. He opened the door, and took his time studying you without the glass separating you both. It was the middle of the night, you simply wore a tank top and shorts, sleep wear. Across your legs and arms were countless bruises, some old and some new. Scars lined your skin, some on your neck, those were small and delicate. Others were an your arm, your wrists, your thighs. Of course, the mandatory knee scars from being a kid weren’t missing. And Spencer would nearly miss it, if he wasn’t painfully familiar with them.

Small, circular scars on your arm. Old track marks. They were scarred over and there was no bruising, a good sign.

You didn’t bother looking at who came through the door, your house being raided in the middle of the night kinda ruined your mood. All you want to do is sleep. For once in your life, you were innocent!

Spencer walked towards you, he then carefully unlocked your handcuffs. Looking up, you saw the cute guy from the club. You kinda missed him.

“I didn’t do it.” You quickly said, not knowing what else to do.

“…I know.” Spencer spoke quietly, your alibi saved you. “The, ah, victimology doesn’t fit at all, the Heart killed at random while this one, while using the same killing method, has a specific victim type.”

“Yeah, girls who look like me. Just because I’m squeamish as hell, doesn’t mean I can’t make the obvious connection.”

This is embarrassing for Spencer, because truthfully, he didn’t make the connection. Yet. Maybe he should look for a different career path. Once your hand was free, you massaged your temples. You left the room and walked into the police station, the officers looked uncomfortable. Spencer followed you.

“…It might be a copycat. The killing methods and Victimology suggest that it’s an obsessive fan. Have you noticed anyone following you recently? Or a constant feeling of being watched?” Spencer couldn’t help but ask you, any information is good information. And any attention from you is good attention.

You turned towards Spencer, looking up at him. He could feel the anger radiating off you.

“Or, unpopular opinion, I also didn’t commit the first murders and it’s the true killer returning. Ever thought of that, Phd boy? I was just accused of murder back then! Without any evidence! Why is there no evidence? Because I’m innocent! Just because your fucking senior over there used his what? Magic super powers of reading fucking body language? Get fucked, honestly.” You turned away from Spencer completely, choosing to only look at your father.

“We are…Sorry for the inconvenience, the profile just fit and we didn’t think it through. Life’s are at stake here, and you did commit a murder.” Hotch tried to defuse the tense atmosphere, the team knew that the police officers were very sceptical towards the BAU. This could ruin any relationship and progress they made.

“You call it murder, the Judge and I call it self defense. Agree to disagree, I guess? Or are you salty that you weren’t able to catch the phedophillic serial rapist back then? Sorry that I killed him when he attacked me, next time I will remember to just not defend myself, asshole.”

Your father put a hand on your shoulder, a signal to stop. Your lawyer thankfully didn’t look stressed out, so you didn’t say anything too incriminating. Crossing your hands over your chest, you decided to shut up for the rest of your stay here.

“We would love to help you, Agent. We truly do, but if this is all we would like to leave now.” Your father carefully said. Innocent until proven otherwise.

There is not much Hotch could do, since it was now clear that you were not behind the murders. He nodded his head, “Of course, once again we are sorry for the intrusion.”

With that you once again leave Spencer behind. How inappropriate would it have been to ask you for your number?

[dennydart]

10 characters 10 fandoms

rules: list your ten favorite characters from ten separate fandoms, then tag ten people! Heyyy @sheepishmastectomy thanks for tagging me :> I had a hard time deciding fandoms honestly!! I enjoy too much media…

Will Graham Relatable man! I too adjust my glasses constantly to avoid looking at people at work. Idk, he's just neat.

Sakura Haruno My girlll,,, my beloved. Kishimoto did you so dirty. I love how strong she is & how loyal + dedicated she is to her loved ones. I think as a character, she has so much potential!

Theon Greyjoy I honestly started out really hating him! He's not very likable at first… but once you get further in the series he quickly became a fav for me! I like how complicated his feelings are for basically every relationship in his life. Like 'I love you but I hate you. I want to be you & I'm so envious of everything you have' <- that's Theon

Genesis Rhapsodos Listen. I am here for the drama. This man, he knows drama. I would in fact argue, he is the drama.

Shang Qinghua Honestly can you get more real then him… writes a whole novel about a sadboy evil protag just to make a living, while being very gay and making his ideal husbando as a side character. Then getting trapped in that world, meeting said husbando and misinterpreting all of his actions… he's just so real… I love him.

Toad Specifically from x-men evolution. Do not ask me why, I do not know. I was just… like obsessed with him when I was a kid. Still holds a special place in my heart.

Kazuma Kuwabara Empathetic but putting on a tough boy attitude?? Secret softy?? The heart of the team? Loves cats as much as I do??? This man has my whole heart.

Hanataro Yamada I have just always adored him since I first saw him in bleach. I think it's because I find him very relatable. But also I appreciate his bravery and willingness to sacrifice himself to help save Rukia, because he admires her & knows she hasn't done anything wrong.

Spike Literally a teenage heart-throb… can't get over him, won't ever get over him. But to be real, I notice a lot of the vampires from Buffy pretty much immediately turn evil & deplorable… like you see with Jesse, Angelus, etc. but with Spike, he retained so much of his ability to love and care about other people. Like his first thought was to turn his chronically ill mother so they could hang out forever. Idk,,, he's just such a good villain because a lot of his motivations are completely understandable.

John Silver Specifically from treasure planet. I love how conflicted of a character he is. Torn between his desire to care for Jimbo but also his loyalty to his mission with his pirate crew. What a guy.

I don't really have 10 people to tag :b but anybody who want to do this should!! It's nice to reflect on why you love your faves

[meluene]

Yes both ichiruki and destiel were used by TPTB to sell their product than at the end were done dirty. I wonder do you ship anything else, or only ships that were sunk ? Me, for example I'd be surprised if any of the ships I really love would ever be made canon, but I despise baiting of any kind; I mean you're either honest to yourself and your vision from beginning to end, even if might hurt your sales, or you listen to the feed-back from your fans, give them what they want and make money. And fans should stop supporting, authors/studios that lie to them.

Hi! Though I sometimes ship other pairings, there is no other that bring me so much pain as ichiruki and destiel does xD. I do not regret shipping both, but to this day I suffer greatly about The Endings TM. To be totally honest with you, I think the truth about Bleach ending was bit different than the whole "case" of Spn.

I believe the Ichigo/Rukia pairing was originally meant to be, but Kubo changed it at some point, and as the result the Bleach ending does not make any sense. It is true not only for ichiruki, but for basically everyone in the story - we've got so many unresolved issues and plot holes, characters are just seem to be made unhappy, that it is hard to believe it was not intentional. Because I was at this point actively reading manga every week to the very end, I remember vividly how even in Japan people (both readers and people somehow invested in the Bleach franchise) did not react well to the ending - the story pointed for so many years that Ichigo/Rukia was endgame, that the whole ending was fiasco. In fact, the ending was so bizzare that they had to promote the franchise with Rukia and Ichigo stickers to sell anything at that point. Even the Bleach film on Netflix was focused only on OG squad and the early story of Ichigo and Rukia because it was the only time when the whole story made sense lol. Let's not forget the super awkward/sad Rukia during her wedding and shitty story how Ichigo supposedly fell in love with Ori.

In manga industry, the mangaka is the one person responsible for the story and Kubo sank his own work - I believe he could be pushed to some extent (there were rumors he had the time limit to finish the story and he was bitter mf at the end), but still I think he did change the ending and it did not rhyme with the OG plot of the manga. Bleach suffered greatly, the anime was cancelled for many years and it was marked as a story which started super strong (as one of the great three) and ended poorly. Kubo did this, shame on him, I hate him, he can suck bag of dicks.

In SPN story, as we all know, Cas was not meant to stay at the show at all. The whole romance between him and Dean somehow happened, I think it was the result of brilliant writing of SOME of the screenwriters AND Misha & Jensen acting. It started at some point of the story and some of the cast and crew started to support it (bless their souls) not to mention the destiel fans. The pairing though was not warm welcomed by everyone and I do believe people responsible for the show were scared to go with it despite the clear romance going on. Bob Wess did brilliant "Deep Dive" series about it (and yes, I've seen it all in one day because I'm not well on my brain) and I trully think in the SPN case, we've got much more people to blame for the the shit ending. There were actors, writers, producers AND some fans that did not want Dean to be bi and at the same time wanted the only bro ending. The story was pushed in some bizzare corner where we end with two dead brothers, despite the 15 years of journey, progress and FAMILY they made in between. I think that in those circumstances, with so many people working on the show and being against the pairing, allowing Castiel's confession was miracle itself.

To conclude, I believe the film industry is still not in the good place and in case of SPN we witnessed strange fight between screenwriters/actors/producers and others insiders that had different idea for the show itself and how it was supposed to end. Unfortunately, the "winning" team was the one of "let's kill gays, Eileen, and forget progress" and as the result, the ending is not fulfilling - there is no peace we were promised. Open ending would've been better than offing everyone, the whole family that was supposed to not end with blood was shattered and gone from the screen. The creators of SPN were scared of bi Dean and any gayness that occured in the story - shame on them for that. And yes, people responsible for the ending should suffer - but I don't think they do realise the shittness of their decisions, just like Tr*mp doesn't realise he is crazy.

[glapplebloom]

And the DC Line is Finished!

Master Research Link

What I’ve learned...

So Simion Says is not the only time Mojo did something to the Narrator. And in the comic, the Powerpuff Girls show the ability to break the 4th Wall. They also get the Narrator to forget the entire story, but this could be a game changer depending on their opponent. If they fight someone who breaks the 4th wall, this could reactivate their reality warping powers. Issue 49, we see the Powerpuff Girls fly to overcome the height limit to ride a rollercoaster. And the Amoeba Boys are fuzing

So far the comics are giving the Amoeba Boys some viable stuff. Issue 50 introduces us to the Powerpunk Girls, the Evil version of the Powerpuffs. Nothing too major to note. We got some unique weapons, powers, Buttercup somehow made a monster out of clay. Issue 56 shows the Powerpuff Girls being DIRTY LIARS!!! They totally love Mojo’s cooking! They were just acting like jerks that one time.

Issue 57 has some neat things going for it. Buttercup punches Fuzzy around the planet. HIM hates people who steal from Charities. And Bellum actually has a grandmother. Issue 59 has the biggest reason I want HIM to be in Death Battle. He basically tortured Mojo because he made fun of him. Spent the entire time making his base fill with lava, even when it was up on a tree. We also got a super lame villain in the Blue Bookman. 

So #62 has Morbuck convincing kids to be like her. While the Powerpuff Girls convince the others not to, there is one kid that sticks with it. The Reboot has an episode where Morbucks finds a similar kid. Shame the comic continues to ensure Morbucks stays alone. #63 has Buttercup wanting to deal with a Tentacle Alien by herself. I heard the stories about this situation and I don’t like the implications. And like always, Sedusa does the same thing again and again. If it isn’t Seducing, it's mind controlling. #64, the Amoeba Boys try to convince a kid to jump into an empty swimming pool. Like DUDE!!!

#65 introduces us to the Micro Puffs, basically Mixed Pickles without the powers, I presume. But the real thing to note is when everyone has Sedusa’s hairstyle the girls can’t tell any female apart. Like there’s her figure, the fact she’s wearing skimpy clothing, her skin looking like she bleached it white... I can probably think of 34 different ways to pick Sedusa out from a crowd. Issue 67 brought us the Meat Gun again. And Fuzzy beating the girls in a battle of the bands. It’s just a shame the girls turned it over with a “we totally could have won if we practice” to the audience. And with 69 being the final issue before 70 being a reprint of the first, I’m done with the DC Main Line.

Overall, I thought it was fine. Since the original series usually kept the same formula, there wasn’t much to complain about when it came to continuity. Not like they added new powers or lore. Reading the classic collection to see if there’s anything missing there. The actual first issue. A fun story about the girls trying to draw what they did. The rest of them are reprints in better quality than the original scans. Shame it only gets up to 28

The Cartoon Network Action Pack focuses on the Rowdyruff Boys. Only four issues with them. The first one features the return of Twitchy. Nothing really of note here other than two things: first, industrial salt can remove their Snails (and powers) from them. And the last issue with them has them losing to Cooties despite having their Cootie Shot when they returned.

Nothing really of note from Block Party. They fight, the Micro Puffs make a third and possibly final appearance, and they have a Cell Phone! #31 shows the Mayor at his ABSOLUTE WORST! Not even the Reboot has the Mayor this bad. To be fair, it's thanks to Micro Mayor. #50 shows you just how much Mojo works with the girls. #55 shows you how to make lemonade. So overall thoughts on the DC stuff. They gave the villains a big boost when it comes to Vs Viability. And still, if you like the girls you got more stuff. Shame there are missing issues though. If anyone has them send them my way.

Best Feat I found... 

For me, that’s Buttercup punching Fuzzy so hard he is sent flying around the planet. That’s a crazy feat for strength and Durability. 

Next Time...

We continue the comics and see if IDW can keep this streak going.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere (Physically Aged Up) Toshiro Hitsugaya: Short, Stubborn Yandere (Bleach)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with a new chapter! This one is going to be the base headcanons with Toshiro Histugaya. With him Aged up a bit physically. He is still a short king! So please enjoy this chapter here, my sexy muffins!] 

(Disclaimer: Toshiro Hitsugaya Is Not Yandere In Canon! This is Just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You Know Who You Are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!  Disclaimer 2: Toshiro is OVER 100 years old, he is AN Adult he is just short, and for that people think he is younger than he is. They even make this a gag in the show. He is an adult in canon! Though he will be aged up a bit physically to make sure that no one gets it twisted!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Toshiro Hitsugaya From Bleach- 

.Toshiro is a very serious and mature man. 

.He takes things very seriously and most of the time does not like people acting out, goofing around, or drawing needless attention to themselves. 

.He met you and fell for you right away. Rangekiu teases him about his crush on you and says it is cute. 

.He can sometimes be a bit of tsundere as well as a yandere when it comes to you. 

.As he would not admit he has feelings for you and that he does not like you. 

.Although he still watches over and does what he can to protect you. 

.Sometimes being that of a mother hen with how he hovers around you to make sure that you are safe and sound.  .He is also a very easily jealous yandere in which he does not like you spending time with others. 

.It makes him annoyed when other people show their affection to you. 

.He for sure uses his rank to keep them from you. 

.He would have you in his squad of course and make sure you spend most of all your days with him. 

.He would walk you home, saying he did not want his assistant to get hurt. 

.He does not show love for you easily and will tell you sometimes you are being dumb. 

.He does show he cares by having regular lunches with you and making your lunch. He always packs extra watermelon for you. 

.If you say it shows he cares he just says shut up and eat it. Though he is glad he knows that you know it is a way of him showing his love for you.  .He is most likely shorter than you and hates that, as he has to pull you down to his height a lot. (if you are shorter than him he is happy about that)  .He wants to grow big so he tries and gets his work done fast so he can take a nap, as he knows sleep is good for growing. But alas he stays a short king. 

.He hates the heat and summer a lot but loves it only because you wear the summer uniform which shows off more of your body.  .He is the type of yandere that is a protective yandere as well. 

.If Anyone were to harm you he would be beyond pissed off and put them in their place. He then will mend your wounds while scolding you for being reckless. 

.He hates when you put yourself in danger and how you come to be at risk of harm. He rather you be safe and sound by his side. 

.He does lash out at you if you were to do something dangerous and tells you, that your life means more to him than anything or anyone else. 

.He may be the hard-on-you type of yandere but he will do his best to show that he cares. 

.He wishes he did not have to be so firm with you, that you would just listen and stay by his side. 

.He deals with rivals mainly by scaring them away, do not get it twisted he can be a very scary yandere when it comes to rivals. 

.Sending such murderous intent that rivals go running. 

.You of course are kept in the dark of this, he does not need you to know. 

.What you do not know will not kill you. 

.He would confess his love one day by just pulling you into a kiss and saying that you were now his. 

.If you accept his love, that is good and you will be moving in with him. 

.He would love to nap with you and to hold you close as his sweet little darling.  .Just having you by his side puts him at ease. 

.If you say no, he will say it does not matter if you say no, you are his and you do not get a say in the matter. 

.From that moment on everyone knew you were his and no one accepted you saying you weren't. 

.He is a stubborn yandere and he will not stop seeing you as his partner. You are his and it did not matter how much you tried to deny him. 

.He would break you down and make you love him, he is stubborn enough that he will not falter. 

.He will also one day be his spouse, as such you will be forced to move in with him. 

.With him as your captain you cannot do anything to stop him.  .Also good luck on trying to get transferred to a different squad, like most yandere captains he is going to stonewall that from happening. 

.No way is the love of his life going to be allowed to leave him for another squad. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins! 

A Short and Stubborn Yandere❄🐉❄ Yandere Toshiro Hitsugaya X Gender Neutral Listener (Bleach) 

[niilue]

Sorry I mess up with the request may I ask for Ryuken (bleach) #9 oversitim and degradation

‧₊˚⊹ sub ryuken ishida x gn dom! reader

prompt:  i’m not gonna stop leaving marks till i’m sure everyone will know you’re mine."

cw; drabble, dom reader, gn reader, overstim, degradation, hickeys, bratt sub, spit kink? words: 699 1k event

doing it in dr. ishida's office may not have been your brightest idea so far, but the white-haired idiot provoked you too much and you had to show him who's in charge.

you kissed him hard, grabbing him by the back of the neck, biting his lips and making him growl.

"don't be so rough, it hurts." 

with a strong tug you opened his shirt, tearing several buttons and exposing his smooth skin.

"shut the fuck up." you pushed him to his desk and with one of your legs you pressed his crotch, leaving him no escape.

you felt it a little hard, but it was hard to tell. his stoic face and scowl even when you were doing it was very annoying.

you took his face between one of your hands and pressed hard, making his cheeks and lips come together. "i hate what a prude you are, like you don't enjoy this as much as i do."

"you're an ignorant (name)." 

it was funny that he said that in such a serious and apathetic tone, when his choked breath gave him away, as did his dilated pupils.

you kissed him again, ignoring all his complaints and poor desires to escape. you pulled his pants down halfway, exposing his member.

you massaged it, touched its tip and squeezed his hard meat between your hands. you did all this while you kept looking at his face. you didn't want to miss a detail.

you laughed sarcastically and licked his trembling lips, his false mask of "nothing affects me" was falling off in front of you.

you saw him open his mouth to say something inaudible. but he just snorted and closed his eyes and leaned back. while you kept touching his cock and massaging his full balls.

"beg me, ryu, like the slut you are." you began to kiss and mark his chest, followed by his neck. you wanted every time he looked in the mirror to see all the marks you had left on him. you wanted him to remember all the dirty things you had done to him.

the man stirred and whimpered when you bit him hard on his sensitive neck, by inertia he spread his legs wider, now leaning back better on the desk. apparently it was an invitation for you to fuck him.

"haaa! (name), how dare you leave visible marks on me." ryu touched his now adorned neck with annoyance, red and full of the hickeys you had left on it. ups.

“i'm not gonna stop leaving marks till i'm sure everyone will know you're mine."

you looked at him with a sly smile, still touching his member without much excitement.

"fuck, how much i hate you." the man mentioned. 

you moved closer to his face. like a predator to its prey. ryu lay completely flat on his back as you both looked at each other in tension.

"open your mouth." and so he did. 

with one of your fingers you held his lips, keeping it open for you. then you opened your mouth and let a trickle of saliva run down your mouth to his. when you spit it out you saw him look at your saliva with lustful eyes and when it landed in his mouth he swallowed it loudly.

before all this you kept touching him and already felt your hand wet and sticky. "don't tell me you cum when i spit on you, mmm you dirty doctor."

ryu squeezed his legs together and when you weren't touching him properly he would thrust himself forward looking for more friction. he had already cum but his body didn't seem satisfied.

the man was biting his lips so hard you could see traces of blood. you kept masturbating him pulling out more orgasms, and that's only when you touched his member you didn't want to see how he would get if you touched anything else.

"what's wrong? it's too much for you...? and i thought you would satisfy me well today."

"fuck... shut up, shut up (name)" poor thing. he couldn't even insult you properly anymore, he was so lost in the over stimulation that he only served to cum in your hand.

[ulquiorrapleasecallmetrash]

I Promise (Ulquiorra Cifer x Sub! Fem! Reader)

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Fandom: Bleach

Summary: Ulquiorra caught you hanging out with Grimmjow, he isn't pleased in the slightest bit. Little did he know you actually enjoy it when he gets like this.

Genre: Smut

Words: 2,370

Rated:18+

Warnings: choking, finger sucking, finger gagging, rough fingering, finger fucking, name-calling, dirty talking, begging, 18+ content in general

Harmony: Ooooo This one was super fun to write! I just love putting Ulquiorra in kinky situations. I get all giddy on the inside like no joke haha. Also thank you so much for the compliment this really inspires me to write more. I hope you enjoy this because you KNOW I did! 😋🤑

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It was always so boring sitting alone all day without having anything to do. All you could really think about was eventually going home and seeing your friends again. It wasn't like you completely hated living in Las Noches, it was just boring most days. Since you were under protection by Ulquiorra, no one really dared to bother you, especially since Ulquiorra can be a bit too... protective of you. You were pretty much untouchable unless you were Grimmjow. He was the only one that was brave enough and reckless enough to talk to you. Almost every day, you had to stealthily time where to leave your room, to meet up with Grimmjow. Some days Ulquiorra would be busier than other days while other days he would have more time to watch you.

Every day for 4 hours you would leave your confined room to meet up with Grimmjow, talking, sparring, and even a little bit of play wrestling here and there. You could say that he was your best and only friend in Las Noches and you greatly enjoyed his company. You had to admit it, it was nice to go out and talk to someone else besides Ulquiorra, no matter how much you do adore him. Everything always worked out as planned, until you were caught by Ulquiorra, who for some reason had finished all of the daily errands that Aizen had given him earlier than usual. The atmosphere changed completely, it was more sinister, darker, and almost unbearable to be in. "...What are you doing?" That was all he could manage to say.

"U-Ulquiorra! You're here! Well, you see..."

"Hanging out, what's it to Ya, bat?" Grimmjow sneered at him, which caused Ulquiorra to only glare at the large blue cat. "I believe you have no right to even breathe the same air as the girl. You are not under her protection therefore you shouldn't have any contact with her without my permission." Grimmjow only scoffed, all of this was ridiculous to him. "You're joking, right? If y/n wants to hang out with me then she can. Besides, it's clear that I am better than you anyways. That’s why she wants to spend all her time with me and not you." You could tell that there was a tiny shift in Ulquiorra's demeanor, his hands slightly clenched in anger. "I'm giving you a warning, you are not allowed to even look at her. Next time you even look towards the women’s direction you will regret it." Ulquiorra moved forward, making his way towards you, grabbing your hand roughly, dragging you away from Grimmjow. You didn't dare say a word to him, you knew he was pissed beyond belief. You were scared but also it was kind of thrilling seeing him like this. He never expresses any other kind of feeling besides disgust, discontent, or lack of interest. He was unpredictable, terrifying, and tense but you would be lying if you said you didn't like it.

Once you both entered your room, Ulquiorra slammed the door shut, locking it immediately afterward. He finally faced you, the look on his face stayed the same as always but the anger he showed was all in his voice. "Didn't I tell you to never interact with Grimmjow?" You nodded your head, "Yes... you did but-"

"There's no excuses. Grimmjow is nothing but a waste of air, time, and space yet, you are still determined to be with him." You rolled your eyes at him, he clearly doesn't under the concept of friendship, makes sense but it still can be frustrating. "No, you're wrong. You clearly don't know the meaning of the word friends. It basically means doing all the things you would with someone you're with without being comit-"

"I don't need you to teach me such useless things. You are not my teacher nor do you have the right to speak to me like I am lower than you." You gasped, blushing a bit, but you still stood your ground. "That's not fair! I am trying to tell you what I was doing. I am the innocent one here." For the first time, you witnessed Ulquiorra actually scoffing. "You mean to tell me you didn't take joy when that cat talked to you? I see the look in your eyes, and I am the only one who is allowed to see that look on you." He leaned forward, his pale hand touching your hair. You couldn't help but flinch, he was never this touchy with you, ever.

"You might as well just say that you're jealous, it would make it easier for the both of us."

In a flash, his hand grabbed your neck, only adding slight pressure to it. You could automatically feel you flinched at the sudden added pressure of his calloused hand around your throat. The look on his face was threatening but it didn't stop you from feeling some kind of way. "You think I'm jealous? When an arrancar becomes "Jealous" it's far worse than how I am treating you. I am simply holding myself back which you're lucky that I am able to. I guarantee you if you were Grimmjow’s or Nnoitra's your fragile human mind, self, and spirit would be completely broken or you would be a corpse rotting in the back of Las Noches."

"W-what if I don't you to hold back?" You managed to speak out through choked words. Ulquiorra's eyes widened, suddenly releasing you from his grip. You begin to cough and pant for air while Ulquiorra was deep in thought.

You wanted to be completely possessed by a monster like him? He couldn't fathom it, why would a very fragile creature such as you even want that? It was a ridiculous and very stupid thing to say to an Arrancar. If he truly wanted to, he could crush into oblivion if he really wanted to.

"Such foolish word coming from a stupid little human." You finally caught your breath before saying, "As stupid as it sounds, I do enjoy it when you're jealous...that might be another reason why I like hanging out with Grimmjow..." He was rather appalled by your enjoyment in Grimmjow's brute behavior. "I will never understand you, humans. Your lack of logic in anything will never cease to impress me." Despite those somewhat hurtful words you could tell there was a hint of something in your eyes, it was something that you have never seen before.

"Y-yeah well, it's true! I enjoy it. I really do... it just... works for me."

He was still deep in thought, staring you down bit by bit. He had noticed your flushed cheeks, your voice trembling from before. He thought it was from fear and nothing from arousal. He was still processing this new information from you, maybe could be a bit rougher for you. He would never fully become like Grimmjow but if it helps entice your curiosity towards him then he could oblige just this time.

Out of nowhere you were lifted up and thrown onto the bed, you looked up to see Ulquiorra hovering over you, "If that is what you want then I will further entertain you." He took both of your arms and roughly flipped you over onto your stomach, ass up and fully exposed to him.

Next, he got rid of all of your outer clothes, throwing each pair of garments somewhere in the darkened room. Next, he took off your wet panties and threw them somewhere else. He could immediately smell your human scent, it was sweet, nothing he has ever smelled or experienced before. He was never going to admit it but he does enjoy the smell of your arousal. You began to whimper, the cold air only adding fuel to your arousal along with being fully exposed and vulnerable to him. "You're already, how you say, "aroused" just by taking off your underwear?" You shook your head, "To be fair... I was already turned on, hence my wet panties." He gave you a questionable look before shaking his head, "I will never understand you, humans." He said, placing you right in his lap, back facing him. His right hand begins to grab a handful of your boob, teasingly squeezing it. His left hand went straight to your wet cavern, moving your lips apart and sliding two fingers inside of you, causing you to moan out in pleasure. He never expected his calloused, rough hands to feel so good it felt much better when his other hand began to pinch your nipple lightly, rubbing it in-between his fingers. The pure shock of arousal shot through you, causing your cunt to clench around his fingers. Ulquiorra paused a bit, somehow intrigued by what you just did. For some reason, he wanted to feel you clenched around his fingers again, so he pinched and prodded at your nipple harder, occasionally rubbing it while he used the fingers of his left hand to maneuver his fingers over your sensitive bud, then adding another finger to add some more stretch. The more he poked and prodded you the wetter you had become, your arousal was leaking right from your aching hole and onto Ulquiorra's hand, eventually causing a huge wet spot to form on his pants. "Ahhh ahhh fuck ahhhhh Ulqui!" You moaned out, you begin to instantly move your hips to add more friction to his fingering, trying your best to reach your orgasm. "Aaahhh Ulquiorra Yes! More please! aahhh!" Your constant moaning and talking was becoming irritating and distracted him from his work.

"Shut up or I will force my fingers down your throat."

You stopped moaning upon hearing his threat but continued to whimper loudly at him, you're bouncing and constant grinding becoming more intense, you couldn't help but moan out ecstasy, for someone who isn't very experienced he was so good at pleasuring you.

He became more irritated with your constant whining, he then switched hands, taking the soaked, wet hand that was inside of you and forcing them down your mouth, muffling your constant heated moans. You could taste the weird, sweetness of the juices from your cunt, which made everything more erotic than before. This was what you wanted, to be treated like a whore."You’re actually enjoying this? What kind of human enjoys getting off like this?" He sounded disgusted, but deep down, he enjoyed it as much as you did.

His hand that was once on your boobs went down to your fervent pussy, inserting the same number of fingers into you, giving your stretch back. You moaned against his fingers, clenching around his other set of fingers once he began to play with them again. You began to suck and lick his fingers as he roughly played with your tight, aroused pussy, his fingers danced into them elegantly, adding different pacing and paying special attention to your clit. It was pure torture to you; everything was more intense than you could ever think. You were so pleased that he was treating you like this, it was something that you always missed doing back in the world of the living but now knowing that Ulquiorra is actually capable of doing this to you made your heart soar through the skies. You began to move your hips, trying to get more friction from his impressive fingering skills, that was when he forced his fingers deeper down your throat as if it was a warning. You began to gag, your pussy clenching again around his fingers.

"Don't move. I don't need your help. The next time you move you will regret it." You begin to whine pathetically; you were almost at your peak but you needed a just little bit more friction to finish yourself off. Ulquiorra was completely ruthless, it was like he meant to tease you. Out of nowhere, he stopped his movements, causing you to gasp. You began to frantically whine against his fingers, now a long trail of spit dripping from your lips and onto his lap.

"I want you to promise me you will never talk to Grimmjow again." He took out his hand from your mouth, waiting for you to reply. "W-what? That's not fair. I told you I wasn't going to do anything-."

"Promise me, or else." He begins to slowly move his fingers dangerously slow over your clit. You knew What he meant by "or else" and in the state that you were in, you were desperate to come. "I-i promise! I won't talk to Grimmjow again." His pace picked up again as a reward, "Good, now apologize for breaking my orders."

"I'm sorry for you breaking your orders. I promise I won't do it again."

He nodded in approval, picking right back up, his fingers moving deep inside of you. You began to moan out again in desperate pleasure, excited that he was continuing to pleasure you in such a way you enjoy. Your moans were louder than before, until He took his free hand, gripping it around your neck again and choking you.

"What did I say? I said shut up and quit whining like an obnoxious sex craven idiot." His grip on your neck tightened.

He took his hand from out of your mouth, bending you all the over until your face hit the mattress so he could get a better angle, He thrust his fingers in and out of you fast and deep. You moaned loudly into the mattress you reached the beginning of your high. It hit you like a car, causing you to screamed as loud as you could as large amounts of liquid squirted right on Ulquiorra's hand, and all over his lap. Several moments later, the high you were just on had ended, now Ulquiorra pulled his hand right out of you. He then examined his soaked hand, right back to you, watching you lay on your bed, breathing heavily.

"Are humans always this messy?" He asked you innocently, which made you chuckle, "Only if you are doing it right."

"I see." There was nothing else he could say. This whole experience only made him realize that he at least enjoyed making you feel this way.

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[luxwritesfanfic]

Don’t Take The Money

Poor reader thought it would end up being a normal Sunday but that must’ve been the mix of bleach and Pinesol fumes getting to their head. Or, the one where reader finds out they have more in common with the other woman in Sherlock’s life than they thought and Sherlock has an aneurysm at the revelation. Thanks for reading!

Sherlock Holmes/Reader

You were just waking up when Sherlock was moving around the bedroom trying to pack his overnight bag. You groaned at the noise of drawers being opened and hangers jostled and rolled over onto your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Sherlock? You’re leaving?”

He stopped in his tracks back towards the closet and moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to you. He looked down at you with fondness that so many people thought he was incapable of feeling and as always, it made your heart swell. Brushing a lock of hair behind your ear, you relished in his undivided attention.

“A case was brought to my attention. I won’t be gone for long, it’s a few towns over.” He insists, trying to ease your worries before they arise.

Although you’d miss him, it never did anyone any good when Sherlock was bored. He needed something to keep him occupied and you needed time to clean up the drywall shrapnel that constantly covered the couch due to the boredness. It would give you the opportunity to deep clean the flat and the idea wasn’t so bad.

“Is John going too?” Sherlock nodded. You don’t know why you asked, they always worked together.

You turned your head to kiss his palm and sat up to get out of bed. “Okay. I’ll make you breakfast before you guys leave. Nobody likes train food anyway.”

Sherlock moved to help you stand, one of the smiles he reserved just for you gracing his lips. “You take excellent care of me. But you should know, you don’t have to be useful for this to mean something to me.”

He caught you off guard, but he usually did when he read you like a book. Your whole life you’d made yourself useful and you weren’t sure if people liked you for you or for the fact that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them. You would do anything and everything for Sherlock and it didn’t have anything to do with being useful, honestly. You loved him dearly and you couldn’t imagine treating him like you felt anything less than that. You couldn’t help but kiss him.

“Omelettes or pancakes?”

—

Your shirt was soaked from washing the dishes and you smelled like a mixture of bleach and formaldehyde from scrubbing the fridge clean and removing the severed head that took up the space where your coffee creamer should be. You had done more loads of laundry than you could count, bleached the bloodstained tub from Sherlock’s latest pig quest, the entire flat smelled like Bahama breeze and you couldn’t be more content. The boys weren’t due back for a day or two so you figured you’d spend some time with Mrs. Hudson when you were done and see if you could meet up with Bucky and Greg for lunch. When you passed the kitchen on your way to your bedroom to change, you decided that this may be the only chance you ever get to clear off the dining room table. Sherlock’s science equipment had overrun it and you figured it wouldn’t hurt if you straightened it up just a bit.

You were in the midst of cleaning out Sherlock’s beakers when you heard the knock on the door. Figuring that John would have posted on his blog that they weren’t currently taking clients because they were on a case, you expected to see Mrs. Hudson and the mop she was letting you borrow. You cracked the door just enough to see who was on the other side and was surprised to see an older woman holding a plate of baked goods who wasn’t Mrs. Hudson.

“Hi... how can I help you?”

The woman in question’s eyes lit up at the sight of you and you weren��t sure why. She smiled and gestured to the platter in her hands. “Is Sherlock Holmes here?”

She must be a client, you thought. Shaking your head, you responded, “No, sorry! The boys off on a case. I’m a friend of theirs. Is there something I can help you with?”

She was looking past you into the flat and you weren’t sure what she was looking for. “Do you mind if I come in? I could really use a cup of tea. And I wanted to drop these cookies I made for Sherlock off.”

You looked at what she was holding and decided it wouldn’t really hurt to let her in, and the cookies looked amazing. Sherlock must have helped her in some way.

“Sure, come on in. Sorry about my clothes... I’ve been doing some spring cleaning.” You stepped aside and let her in. “So, are you a client of his?”

She went to place the platter on the table and you were excited that it was already worth cleaning off the table. “Not quite. I’ve known him his whole life and have loved him even longer.” She turned and smiled at you, seeing through you in a way that seemed eerily close to Sherlock.

You hummed, taking in her answer. Sherlock didn’t talk much about his friends, so you weren’t surprised that you never heard of her.

“Just a minute, I’m gonna change.”

You excused yourself to the bedroom where your phone was charging on the bed. After sending Sherlock a quick text that someone who wasn’t a client was here for him, you dug around in the closet for something clean and more appropriate.

The lady didn’t really seem like a threat and you were sure if it came down to it, you’d be able to protect yourself. You could chuck the skull on the mantle if need be, it was a hard hitter.

When you returned, she was wandering around the flat and looking at all of the pictures of you, Sherlock, and John that you’d recently framed and put out.

“You and Sherlock, you’re close, yes? Tell me about him. It’s been so long.” She was holding a picture that you took of you two in the back of a taxi. Sherlock was on his phone but you thought his hair looked extra good and the golden hour light made him look like an angel so you had to take the picture.

“Yeah, I mean. He’s a seriously great person. A brilliant detective, he’s so smart. He helps all these people for free, and he never complains if they don’t offer him anything. He hates when I tell him he’s a godsend but who else would do that? Um... he’s really funny, probably one of the funniest people I know. You just have to keep up with his humor. It can be kind of dry, but it’s there. He’s one of the most loyal people there is and he’d do anything for the people he cares about.”

It was so easy for you to speak so highly of him. It was like second nature.

“He can be stubborn sometimes, and he can be a little more blunt than he needs to be but... he’s amazing. There’s no other way to explain him, really. He’s got a light that comes from him that rivals the sun and I don’t think it could ever be dimmed.”

She turned back to you and slowly broke out into one of the biggest grins you’d ever seen someone wear. “You really love my son.”

“Your son?” You blinked, unsure of what was going on. You really started to look at the woman in front of you and you realized Sherlock had her eyes. A complete copy and paste. “Oh my God, you’re Sherlock’s mom. I never even introduced myself. I’m Y/N, a friend of-”

“You’re not his friend, dear, and I’m not blind. Old age takes a lot from you, but I could never miss the way my son shines. And you... you see it too.” She walked up to you, still holding the picture frame in her hands. “You love my son in a way that no one else has. Let me tell you all about him.”

—

You couldn’t stop laughing.

Sherlock’s mom had brought over tons of scrapbooks and old pictures that she had acquired over the years, and you had a feeling she knew you were here alone before she even knocked on the door. Mycroft, probably. You spent the whole day getting to know each other and taking a stroll down memory lane with her telling you all about Sherlock as a kid and how it was growing up with two geniuses as sons. She even gave you a copy of one of Sherlock’s high school pictures that you were going to cherish forever. She seemed so happy to have someone to talk to and assured you that spending time with you was the closest she had felt to Sherlock in a long time.

You insisted that she stay and let you make dinner, but she was as equally stubborn as Sherlock and ordered you takeaway as her treat. You tried to argue but she was having none of it. “My God, you scrubbed this whole flat clean. I’m not going to let you dirty your dishes. How does Chinese sound?”

—

Sherlock barreled up the steps with all the force he could muster in his legs and rushed in to see you, perfectly fine and all in one piece, having dinner with his mother.

“Sherlock!” You both exclaimed, his mother full of excitement and you full of worry.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, standing up from your end of the couch. “I thought you were on a case? Is everything okay?”

“I’ve been texting and calling you all day! You’re that daft that you couldn’t text back once all this time?” He’s still out of breath and he can feel his heartbeat in his ears. His tone is exasperated and you could hear the mix of anxiety and relief in his voice as he’d yet to acknowledge his mother. She seemed perfectly content to sit back and watch the situation unfold, amusement at her son’s unusual outburst gracing her features.

“My phone was dead! And then I put it on the charger and I forgot about it once your mom came, by the way!” You went to the bedroom and retrieved your phone to find a dozen missed texts and calls.

Probably just a client. SH

11:07 AM

Are you sure it’s not a client? SH

11:43 AM

Are they still there? SH

1:00 PM

Missed Call

1:17 PM

Missed Call

2:03 PM

Call me back. SH

3:26 PM

Y/N, I’m on a case. Call me back. SH

3:44 PM

Missed Call

4:13 PM

Is everything alright? SH

4:52 PM

Missed Call

5:08 PM

Missed Call

5:10 PM

Missed Call

5:12 PM

I’m boarding the train now and I’ll be there soon. Don’t worry. SH

5:21 PM

Sherlock followed after you, still without ever acknowledging his mother, and shut the door after himself. With his palms braced against the wooden door, he tried to ease the tension out of his bones through a deep breath as he watched you check your phone. He wasn’t worried about the case at all. It was mostly solved and what little was left John could do with ease. He felt the weight of the missed calls in his stomach like lead and the three hour train ride that he couldn’t curse to defy time any quicker. He had plenty of enemies and you had virtually none, so there would be no reason to think you’d hesitate to assist anyone who came to his door, especially if it was in the name of helping him. He thought he’d walk into a crime scene and he couldn’t shake those images out of his head.

You got up from the bed and walked over to him, reaching to wrap one arm around his neck and to take his hand in yours in the other. You pressed a kiss to his jaw, and then to his chin, over his eyelids, his nose, and then lastly you met his lips, murmuring “I’m sorry” in between every kiss. He didn’t usually voice it, but you had known him long enough to know when he was upset. He relaxed into your touch as he always did and you pulled away from him long enough to pull on the ends of his scarf. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Let me help. We got takeaway for your mom and I but we can share mine. I got what you like anyway.”

He let you pull his scarf and jacket off and you were delighted to see he wasn’t really mad with you. You hang his jacket on the closet door and by the time you turn back to face him, he’s already making his way back out to the living room. Following after him, you see his mother gesturing him to come over.

“What are you doing here? I thought I told Mycroft to tell you I was away on business.” He was messing with the cuffs on his sleeves but his question was directed at his mother with unmistakable intent. She tsked at him, and you began to see even more similarities in their mannerisms.

“That’s no way to talk to your mother, William. I was spending some time with your darling partner here and I don’t even get a kiss or a hug?” She began gathering her belongings and threw her purse over her shoulder. You weren’t happy to see her go.

You did peak up at the name. “William? Your name is William?”

Sherlock groaned, ignoring you completely. You swore you could see a blush dusting his cheeks. In no time he was at the door, holding it open for his mother. “It’s getting rather late, don’t you agree? Father must be wondering where you are. Be sure to pay Mycroft a visit the next time you’re in town. I assure you, he always has time for family.”

She turned to you and blew you a kiss. “I had a great time with you today, I hope you’ll manage to bring Sherlock home more.”

Walking over to Sherlock, she paused to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear, “I know you know what you could lose here. So be sure you don’t, Sherlock.”

Before she totally stepped out of the flat, she turned around one last time. “Promise me you’ll come home soon. Your father and I miss you dearly.”

“I heard you the first ten times. Goodnight and safe travels, mother.” Sherlock shut the door before his mother could get another word and your shoulders slumped.

“Hey, that was your mom! She’s really nice. We had a good day.” You started to clean up the coffee table and take the dishes into the kitchen. You couldn’t understand Sherlock’s relationship with his family but you were sure there was a lot of things you didn’t know. Still, it was nice to have a chance to bond with your (maybe one day) future family. It was then that you realized that Sherlock never said anything when his mother mentioned you being his partner. You two never really officially defined what you were, so to see him not object to an actual title made you feel all warm inside.

“No, you had a good day. I was trying to work a case and clear a man’s name while trying to figure out if I’d come home to you kidnapped or dead.” Sherlock rolled his eyes, watching you from the doorway. You looked back at him as you dropped the dishes into the sink and let out a sigh. You hated the fact that you let him down.

“I have to go back tomorrow to tie some loose ends with John. If you come with me, I have a feeling I’ll get over it a lot quicker.” His voice was quiet but full of mirth. He won’t hold this over your head, and you both know this, but if it makes him feel better you’ll follow him. You’d follow him to the ends of the Earth and off the edge if he lead you.

Sherlock pushed himself off of the doorway and walked towards the bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt as he went.

“So, you’re staying home tonight?” You swung around the  kitchen doorway and called out to the hall. You hadn’t even thought about Sherlock having to go back, and you couldn’t help but be excited that he would be there for you to fall asleep next to tonight. 

“You didn’t expect me to make the trip back at this hour, did you? Besides, I sleep better with you and it’s obvious that I don’t focus well if you’re not around, Which is why I need you to come with me tomorrow. It seems you owe me, anyway.” Sherlock takes a step back so you can see him in the bedroom doorway, and you can feel your heart in your throat.

He’s so beautiful, you think, all alabaster skin and lean muscle. He’s pulling a t-shirt over his head and you wonder if you could manifest a photographic memory long enough to commit him to memory. Of course he notices you staring, and you almost want to mention all the times you catch him staring at you but he changes the subject and opens the blankets for you and you shut up and follow him. You follow him and you love him and you wake up in the morning at the crack of dawn to run downstairs and order coffee from the shop next door before your train leaves, being sure to get them to write “William” on the cup. Sherlock doesn’t find this funny at all, but he still lets you fall asleep on his arm on the train ride there and doesn’t complain when his arm falls asleep right along with you.

He thinks that if this is the life his mother wished for him as a child, that would be one thing he could take off of his list of things she eventually needs to answer for. Because mothers know best, and when it came to you, she could have never been more right.

[angstama]

apple tree | chifuyu.m

pairing: chifuyu matsuno x reader

genre: angst, slow-burn, unrequited love, pining, fluff, chifuyu doesn’t love you that way :( 

warnings: as usual, heartbreak coming ahead <3

✧. in which you look back on the times that chifuyu had been the highlight and heartbreaker in your youth. 

you were five when you first met chifuyu matsuno under the big apple tree one summer day. 

head deep into bending the fragile weeds into a flower crown when a blonde haired boy with the prettiest ocean blue eyes approached you. “what are you doing?” he asked curiously, licking his already melting chocolate ice cream while looking at the imperfectly balanced flower that you had spent hours on crafting in your hands. “making a flower crown.” you answered simply, not even sparing the blonde haired boy a glance as you were too focused in tweaking the branches. 

“woah that’s awesome!” he beamed in excitement, plopping down next to you instantly and leaning in closer to take a look at it. “yeah i know right!” you smiled in triumph, finally looking up to see whoever was showing interest in your little hobby and behold, there sat chifuyu in a rainbow striped t-shirt with his legs crossed and eyes gleaming with interest.

 in all honesty, your flower crowns were horribly ugly, but in chifuyu’s eyes it was uniquely you. perhaps it was maybe because he hadn’t seen anyone making an actual flower crown before or perhaps maybe he was just feeling sorry for the girl who always sat alone under the big apple tree that never bloomed a single fruit all year round. whichever it was, you wished that it was the first. “teach me how to make one please!” he grabs your wrist, causing your cheeks to burn under the scorching hot sun and heart rate quickening though you were clueless as to why it happened being only at the age of five, so you decided that it was okay to have him around. 

strangely ever since then, you were never seen alone under the apple tree in the park again. 

you were nine when you first understood the concept of crushes, with the help of your best friend, chifuyu matsuno of course. 

“it’s when you want to share the biggest chicken drumlet with them dummy!” chifuyu explained, voice muffled from stuffing his face with fried chicken one after another. you weren’t sure how the two of you derived at the current topic, though you remember the last you checked, chifuyu was rambling on and on about the new girl in your class. “so, you’d share this with whoever you have a crush on?” you asked as you pointed towards the biggest drumstick that chifuyu had saved for the last, as always. 

he nodded impatiently, grabbing the very same drumstick and ready to devour it but only to come to a halt when the two of you locked eyes. “want some?” he offered, waving the fried chicken in front of you. “wh-what?” your words fumbled, taken aback by chifuyu’s sudden offer right after the whole sharing of the biggest chicken drumlet explanation he had just made. “you kept staring at it. do you want it?” he asked, with innocence laced in his voice, oblivious to the shade of red slowly making an appearance on your cheeks. you huffed, “am not!”. chifuyu only lets out a snort, “yeah sure,” he chuckles boyishly, leaning down to rest on your shoulders, causing your body to stiffen upon the sudden contact. that afternoon, for almost an entire hour you were forced to sit as straight as you could, afraid that something was going to erupt in your tummy again as you could feel the bubbling sensation that threatened to explode. 

you were thirteen when you finally realised that you, y/n l/n, wants to share the biggest drumstick with chifuyu matsuno. 

it was christmas eve and chifuyu had invited you over to his place for a dinner, claiming that his mother had threatened to throw his precious romance mangas away if he didn't invite you. 

you arrived at the matsuno’s household ten minutes earlier than stated with a tray of roasted potatoes held in your hands and beads of sweat running down your forehead despite the freezing cold temperature outside. for the eight years of friendship you had with chifuyu, you’ve never felt this nervous seeing him and his family. it’s the cold, you naively thought, when the door swung opened, revealing your best friend dressed in a maroon striped sweater with suspenders. his eyes widened, not expecting to really see you when he was just opening to check in an attempt to ease his mother’s sixth sense. “y/n? why didn’t you knock?” he gasped, gently tugging the tray on your hands into his as he looked at you in surprise. “well, i was gonna but you opened the door before i could!” you scoffed a white lie, wanting nothing but to cover up the fact that you had been standing outside because you couldn’t get your heart to calm down. 

“chifuyu why don’t you give y/n the gift you got for her now?” mrs matsuno chimed, elegance evident in her posture and movement when she lightly dabbed a napkin across her lips which made you wonder how is it possible that she's the mother of chifuyu when chifuyu shared not a single bit of her grace when it comes to eating. chifuyu pauses briefly, “give me a sec,” he nods before stuffing the roasted potato that was previously halfway into his mouth and standing up to jog over to his room. “he cleaned the house for two months for it.” mr matsuno chuckled as chifuyu jogs out again, this time with a paper bag held in his hand. 

“you better wear it everyday.” he sent you a playful wink, handing you the brown paper bag. you carefully unwrapped the ribbon that bounded the paper bag and pulling out an overly oversized hoodie enough to fit you through a lifetime. you noticed that it was same hoodie that chifuyu often wears except that yours was in the shade of emerald green, the colour that chifuyu had taken the effort to remember that you had once claimed as your colour when the two of you had a heated discussion on what colour represents yourselves. 

“wow! now we have a friendship hoodie!” you beamed in excitement, pulling the oversized hoodie over your sweater. “how do i look?” you asked, posing a few turns at chifuyu as he took a good look at you. “pretty.” he held a thumb up before stuffing another spoonful of pasta down. 

your lowered your gaze upon hearing the sudden compliment your best friend gave, opting to look at the last piece of roasted chicken that mrs matsuno had offered you earlier just now before chifuyu could lay his hands on it. your lips pursed, not entirely confident to do it but eventually picking up the piece of meat and placing it on chifuyu’s already dirtied plate from all the sauces he had mixed with his food. “thank you,” you mumbled, looking anywhere else but chifuyu’s burning gaze on you. 

the butterflies were taking flight soon and you on the other hand had no idea how to contain it. 

you were sixteen when chifuyu first broke your heart on the first day of the spring season, openly declaring in front of you and takemichi that he’ll be confessing to the pretty girl sitting in front of him during lunch time. 

her name is haru.

“no way! you’re kidding!” takemichi gaped, leaning in closer to chifuyu as the close proximity between the two of them wasn’t enough for him to hear chifuyu clearly. chifuyu crossed his arms, confidence evident in his posture, “of course not! i’ve already decided, there’s no going back!” 

“be sure not to scare her away!” you stuck your tongue out to which chifuyu rolled his eyes in response. “eh? you’re just jealous that no one’s confessing to you!”, wiggling his head in a playful manner as he brought an ‘L’ sign up to his forehead to further anguish you. you raised a middle finger, wanting nothing more than to end this conversation for you weren’t sure if you were able to contain the effect of your heart dropping six feet down. 

you knew chifuyu succeeded when he came running to you after school with the brightest smile you adored, a faint tint of blush coated on his cheeks. “guess i’m gonna see you lesser huh lover boy?” you chuckled softly, shoving your textbooks into your canvas bag as he swung himself onto your desk with a smug grin. “you’d wish huh don’t you? but no, you’ll still see me as often when i’m off from boyfriend duties,” he sang happily. perhaps maybe because it was chifuyu’s own words, you believed wholeheartedly that you were okay with being just his best friend and being supportive of his relationship. so you watched chifuyu’s love for haru bloomed into something more than just the typical puppy love you often watch on romcoms. 

in just a blink of an eye, two years had passed and the next thing you knew you were spending your birthday without your best friend for the second time in a row. “this sucks,” you grumbled, throwing your phone aside when the time struck midnight, announcing a new day had just arrived. chifuyu’s words were just empty affirmations when you realised that you barely ever saw your best friend. you weren't sure if the two of you were even best friends anymore. it felt more like he’s just a friend that you talk to occasionally now. you see, chifuyu is a loyal friend and that’s a widely known fact and that’s what made it even more heartbreaking for you because chifuyu always does just enough to keep your friendship alive and you had no reason to hate him for that. 

you rubbed your temples tiredly, wanting nothing more than to run your aching head into the wall when a packet of your favourite watermelon mints was thrown onto your desk. “rough night?”atsumu, your beloved table-mate asked smugly. “you don’t say,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes at the obvious as you impatiently tore the packet open. “he didn’t wish ya happy birthday did he?” the freshly bleached haired boy questioned. atsumu got his answer when you didn't sat in silence, opting to look out the window to distract yourself from the threatening tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. and god do love to test you when the scene of chifuyu leaning in to kiss haru on the lips ever so gently unfolds at your sight. oh how you wished that it was you who he’s kissing right now. 

chifuyu always does just enough to keep your friendship alive. 

it was already late into the night when you heard a knock outside your balcony. your breath hitched when you saw that it was chifuyu who had disturbed your little movie marathon alone after the events that had happened lately. “hey,” he breathed, a soft smile wearing on his lips to which you returned it with an awkward one, inviting him into your messy room. “oh we’re in our friendship hoodie!” he chuckles nervously. your eyes travelled on him, realising that indeed he’s wearing the same hoodie that you were currently wearing right now. “it’s late chi, what’s going on?” you sighed, tone coming off harsher than you intended to. chifuyu nods slowly, face soon replaced with an apologetic look. “i’m sorry for missing your birthday, i feel horrible really,” he begun. “ i know i haven’t been around lately, so i want to make it up to you.” 

your brows furrowed at chifuyu’s apology, you knew he was being so sincere so why did you feel even much more upset hearing it? “that’s it? you could’ve just done this in school tomorrow chifuyu.”you sighed, trying your hardest to mask the pettiness within you with a tired voice. “ i know i know, but i couldn’t sleep knowing that i left my best friend alone on her 18th birthday.” he looked at you hesitantly as you quietly pulled your duvet over your lap. “how about let’s go hiking and watch the sunrise this weekend? just the two of us. i know you’ve been wanting to do that.” 

you wished you weren’t in love with chifuyu so that you wouldn’t give in so easily. you wished you were petty enough to make a scene and just be angry at him but you couldn't so here you are right now, hiking up the trail with your hand in chifuyu’s as you helped him up the slope. “your stamina really sucks,” you retorted to which chifuyu huffed in response. “it’s not that my stamina sucks, it’s that this trail is literally ninety-eight percent high slopes,” he pouts. 

“well you could've chose not to show up.” 

“no! i want to do this with you. what are you talking about?” 

you only smiled at his little defence. “whatever,” you mumbled as you quickly dropped your grip on his and walking ahead of him in an attempt to hide your blush. “hey! wait for me!” 

it was near autumn when one day chifuyu appeared in the wee hours of the night with tears streaming down his cheeks when he fell into your arms and hugged you tightly. you found out that haru was moving away to the states with her family and had broken up with chifuyu, refusing to try out long distance relationship. 

so like any other best friend, you let chifuyu cry into your shoulders as you sat in silence that night, heart breaking at the torn state chifuyu was in. he truly loved her. 

you were twenty when chifuyu held your hands and asked you to be his. 

“chifuyu matsuno! where the hell are my batteries?” your voice echoed through your shared apartment, causing poor chifuyu to jump and drop the eggs he was previously holding in his hands on to the floor. it’s been almost two years since haru and chifuyu had broken up and you had spent a great deal of time trying to mend his broken heart though you knew that it would never be fully healed. she was his first love after all. 

the two of you had moved in to a small apartment close to your university as planned since young, officially becoming roommates. “fuck!my eggs!” chifuyu cried out loud as he frantically lets go of the spatula in his hands to grab a kitchen tower and clean up the pool of egg yolk and egg white on the marble floor. you groaned in annoyance when chifuyu doesn’t answer your question, slamming the tools drawer shut and making your way towards the kitchen. 

“i swear chi-” you paused when you saw chifuyu kneeling on the floor with his pink kitten design apron tied against his body, a pout clearly evident on his lips. “what ever happened?” your head tilted slightly, annoyance slowly decimating. “you screamed like a mad woman. that’s what happened.” he retorted. you rolled your eyes, grabbing another kitchen towel and joining chifuyu on the ground. “well if you didn’t misplace my batteries, i wouldn't be screaming.” 

“if you looked close enough, it’s literally on your study desk.” 

“it’s not!” 

“it is!” 

“it’s not!” you huffed, getting up and stomping over to your room to prove a point but your eyes widened, horrified by the pure sight of your batteries accompanies by a fresh pack with a sticky note attached on top of it. ‘you’re welcome <3′, it wrote. you slowly walked out of your room with your head hung low, doing the walk of shame. “say it,” chifuyu taunts as he skilfully tossed the omelette onto the plate and placing it in front of you. you scrunched your nose, lips pursing and taking a deep breath. “i’m sorry,” you mumbled quietly, fingers fumbling at the ends of your shirt. “ah-ah i can't hear you,” you hear him sing, a little too happy. obvious that he’s enjoying this. you sighed in defeat, clearing your throat loud enough. “i’m sorry,” you said it loudly this time. 

chifuyu lets out a laugh in satisfaction, throwing his head back while you on the other hand could only pout at his triumph. but that didn’t mean that your heart didn't swell up at the expression of happiness he has on his face right now. digging in at the breakfast that chifuyu had made for you which had now became a routine, you couldn't help but to feel small under chifuyu’s intense stare on you. “are you not gonna eat?” you raised your brow, eyeing the untouched omelette on his plate. chifuyu rests his chin on his palm, looking at you with a look of as if he had something to tell you. 

“i will.” he hummed before reaching out to grab your hands. your body stiffened, dumfounded at what’s currently happening. “you know, for the last two years, life was a little less painful thanks to you.” chifuyu confessed earnestly, “ i guess what i’m trying to say is that, you’re my end game y/n l/n. i don’t think i would've came this far if it wasn’t for you so i’m going to ask you this once,” he paused, intertwining his fingers in yours as he gazes into your eyes deeply, 

“will you be my girlfriend?” 

your relationship with chifuyu wasn’t a perfect one but the two of you always made it work somehow. which is why here you are sitting against your bed frame with luggages packed by the side wondering what exactly had gone wrong along the way? 

and you realised that you were never meant to be chifuyu’s end game. you were never meant to be his forever. 

“you think that i don’t fucking know that you were always looking at her instagram when you think i’m not around?” you screamed, body shaking from the exhaustion that’s taking a toll on you both physically and emotionally. “i don’t see how it’s wrong wanting to see how my friend is doing?” chifuyu snaps. 

you scoffed, crossing your arms as you looked away. “yeah. as if you don’t still say her name in your sleep. as if you don’t fucking mess up our favourite food, as if you didn’t tell takemichi that you wished i was haru!” this was the last straw for you. you were too exhausted to try anymore. haru was irreplaceable and you were just a temporary band aid for chifuyu. 

it was as if you had hit jack pot when your lover went silent. “i’ve loved you for so long chifuyu. but loving you hurts too much. i’m so tired of this.” you finally allowed yourself to break down, letting yourself go loose on the emotions you’ve suppressed for years as chifuyu could only watch in remorse for tearing you apart till this state. 

you finally understood why the apple tree never bloomed any apples.

you were twenty seven when you decided to leave chifuyu matsuno. fifteen years of friendship and seven years of being each other’s significant other. you finally walked away, planting one last final kiss on chifuyu’s lips and shutting the door on your ex-lover’s sleeping figure.